Carnival

What a trip.
This whole brain thing is horrifically fascinating.
I'm up at 4 am NOT with crazy spinning.  For the first time.  I think it will get better.  I think it's working.  Hopeful!!
I woke up with the strangest terrible feeling.  Body cramp.  Whole chest, shoulders and back seized in one massive charlie horse.  Heart attack?  Stroke?  Is this the seizure part? WTF?

I stand, it's bad,  it moves across the chest, hard to breath.
Sternum scars still pulling tight, I raise arms to flow with blood, stand, walk keep moving, pace, circle, sit, stand, get away from me.  I want to run from the house, run away from whatever this is.  God.
Feeling like my Grandma Millie now in her later years, always warning us with the certainty that she'd have a stoke in the night.  She would warn us kids every night and we would indeed, worry.

Post radiation muscle spasms.  They will pass with time.
I am losing my hair by the fistfulls now.
My face is a moon pie.
But I digress.  Literally.

I saw the wierdest thing yesterday.

14th street and Irving Place, I'm walking in my bubble of extremely well controlled vertigo with much thanks to meditation and Lorazapan when my triple vision catches a sight.

Two elderly women with walkers going after each other on the corner.  They are having a full on walker fight.  One's screaming at the other and trying to chase her down.  The first one must have gotten in a good one though because the lady right in font of me was spitting blood from her mouth and I believe I might have seen a tooth come out.  I had to side step the bloody spit as she slowly swung her walker up in the air and tried to position it atop the head of lady number 2 who was making her slow motion getaway west on 14th St.   Many expletives were heard.

All this is spinning daylight.  Just as her walker had reached it's laborious crescendo, a man stepped in.  Sirens right there, it was mayhem.  My only validation that it even happened was the random NY commiserate convo that took place after with complete stranger. "did you see that"?  "So much blood"  "Oh my god"  "Jeez"  and ends with, "Crazy".

Off under the radar again.

I love this town.  I fit right in.  If I should happen to go insane soon, please just let me know.