Sometimes you can get too much information.
Sometimes, people like to send me things that, and I quote; "might interest you"
Usually things that only serve to piss me off. Usually, it only makes me furious when "friends" send such things. They see the word "cancer" and "cure" or even better, "cause" and they think, "that's something Kelly should know".
Please. Don't. Ever. Ever send me that stuff. Ever.
I am in tears reading about how cancer metastasis occurs because of the poor tissue surrounding the original tumors. Awesome. As they claim in this article, "even the best tomatoes can't grow in sand"
Meaning good cells can't reproduce in bad neighborhoods. WTF
All fine when you don't have this issue, so easy for people to throw this at me now. I work tending bar once a week still, only a half a shift, 6 hours to be exact. I find myself alone in that bar at times while all my friends are out for a smoke. Drinking all weekend, doing drugs of various sorts, no one there has cancer. No one. Only me, alone in the bar, not smoking. Sipping wine while they down shots of whiskey followed by hoards of cocaine, pot, cigarettes and whatever else. God bless them, they are lucky. Yet I have stage 4 cancer. I have the disease. I get to read all the "just thought you might be interested articles". I get the "information".
It's depressing. It's insulting. It make me want to hurl this laptop out the window.
Cancer is unfair. It is random and it's awful. I practice yoga - and meditation. I teach yoga. To other people with cancer. I am a good person. I don't deserve this. None of us do. I didn't do anything my friends didn't do-not saying alot but true nonetheless. I eat well, I don't smoke even though I would kill about now for a chance to check out...
There are hoards of drugs saved up, kept safely under the bed just in case. Pain killers. sleeping pills, muscle relaxers. Neurontin, Percoset, Xanax, Adavan, whatever. The irony is that I don't take it. Surgery pain, cancer pain blah blah blah. I take Tylenol only when desperately necessary. Even that's supposed to be bad for the liver. So I use sparingly.
Bad environment? Fuck.
It's not just the toxins either. It's the feelings. I'm angry now, am I getting more cancer? Is it a bad environment? A bad relationship, all the sadness, is that why? Is it a bad environment? I lost my keys the other day, it was frustrating. Bad soil again? Breeding ground for cancer?
I won't have it.
I refuse this "information". Please, please refrain from sending the cancer girl any and all info you think she "might find useful".
It's spam of the worst kind and will be deleted as such.
Thank you.
